“I’ll probably never write again.” I surely said, tipping back a pint of Stella at DC’s Fox and Hound about 6 months ago. After I graduated from my MA in Writing I put my realism hat on. I knew I’d end up in a desk job, try to make enough money to buy a condo and, in all reality never write much more than a grocery list ever again. There was no market, and I had no great ideas. I told myself that I was ok with this – that I went to grad school to develop a skill not to actually become a writer.
In the months since that decision, I’ve post a few times on my blog, written a weekly article for TheNewGay.net, drank beers, and watched Netlix. I’ve also felt disappointed. When some one said I was a good writer I said, “Nah, I don’t even write any more.” When some one said I was a writer at all I said, “Nah, I work for a non-profit.” I spent two years studying writing, I love the act of writing, so why wasn’t I writing?
The answers to that question were pretty simple. I was scared to start new work without support, without feedback, without deadlines. I was scared to fail.
In comes Adventure #1.
For the new year, I knew I needed to become a new me. Act instead of react; do instead of desire. I had to push myself. I searched online and found a Meetup Group of writers who got together twice a month in my neighborhood, and after a couple of days of second guessing my confidence and my ability, I replied yes. Yes, I would meet them at the Center on Halsted on Wednesday, January 6th. Yes, I would write.
Because I knew this was the jumping point for a Year of 52 Adventures, I embraced my nervousness. Like a rollercoaster. I made jokes, shared tips from my writing program and felt my heart go all a flutter as the group talked about parallelism, imagery, structure and repetition. I felt more in my element than I have in months with 4 strangers and a piece of new writing in my hand. I may put on a suit and ride the El to my job at a non-profit everyday, but in the Year of 52 Adventures, I’m a writer.
Seven of my adventuresom friends and I have decided that instead of making resolutions we would each make a list of things we have never done and will do in 2010. The lists are being shared and they are great. My list includes: make a souffle, go on a winter picnic, visit a local shrine, take a helicopter ride, go to the top of our City Hall and take a watercolor class to paint something to hang in my home. My friends’ lists include everything from making an apple pie from scratch to going to a National Park to watch the moose mate. We will help each other and join each other as we work to do our “firsts”. By the end of 2010 we will have an impressive list!