All Good Things Are Belated in the Retelling

It feels fortunate to admit that I’ve been lazy in posting.  Only because THINGS ARE HAPPENING!  The things in point deal with writing and the momentum built from this campaign so I haven’t much excuse, but I am terribly excited to detail my major life changes as I attempt to catch up!  My calculations show I’m 10 adventures behind in documentation.  So, without further ado – the start of my campaign to be better organized and due diligence to Club 52:

This week found me grumpy, uncertain and in something of an existential plight.  I’ve always been a big advocate of the notion that inspiration lies within, but some days find my optimistic mind-store closed and I try to compensate with the next best thing: drawing inspiration from others.  This is a slippery slope.  Too often I mistake credit with competition.  That’s to say, I look at someone like my dear friend Emmie whose right arm might as well be a paint brush for all the beauty that her mere handwriting produces and think, “Emmie does what she loves.  She has it all figured out.”  And even though I’m truly awed by and happy for her, I allow my own insecurities to consume me.  Enough for me to change the tempo and begin to think, “Why am I not creating?  What do I do?”  And on particularly murky days, an insipid, “Is there anything special to me?”

This is the self-talk we’d sooner caste off.  It helps no one to be so dour, and on this week, when I felt my mind race with sharp scissors, I decided to try and do something about it.

I thought simply, “What do Iwant to do?”

I answered, quickly, “Write a book.”

This is something I’ve never been able to accomplish.  Either I haven’t thought through a good-enough plot, or my structure’s too wild, or I simply run out of energy and leave a heap of words in air.  Well that’s unacceptable.  Skill or no-skill, I should see the effort through, but I didn’t know where to start, so I enlisted the help of a professional.

This week’s adventure had me call on a real-life writer for help and honing.  The fantastic local non-profit Grub Street in Boston is something of a writer’s commune with everything from workshops to seminars to consultant services.  Although it was one of my most difficult undertakings I submitted the start of my novel for consultant consideration, waited anxiously, and bam! I received a response shortly therafter with my novelist’s contact info.

As luck would have it, my novelist was critical AND compassionate.  I would lie if I said her basic deconstruction of all my efforts didn’t bruise, but in the end it is one of the best things to come from my novel.  She was no-nonsense in her approach to my work, while still making effort to understand the why’s behind my plot points and character sketches.  She asked pertinent questions that have helped conjure real results and I can enthusiastically admit that I am back in the writing game. 

Owing to this I have refurbished my book entirely and am excited with the results.  Moreover, I want to write.  I continue to write and the writing feels manageable and clean-er.  That’s not to say that I’m anywhere near finished.  Or that I’m fundamentally improved, but, I am back to doing what I love.  Perhaps we can bill this an adventure in recognition and reconciliation.  With hopeful results to come!

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