It’s your attention to yourself that is so stultifying

“Do the things that interest you and do them with all your heart. Don’t be concerned about whether people are watching you or criticizing you. The chances are that they aren’t paying any attention to you. It’s your attention to yourself that is so stultifying. But you have to disregard yourself as completely as possible. If you fail the first time then you’ll just have to try harder the second time. After all, there’s no real reason why you should fail. Just stop thinking about yourself.” 

― Eleanor RooseveltYou Learn by Living: Eleven Keys for a More Fulfilling Life

I once wrote that I couldn’t small talk my way out of a doll house, and the sentiment sticks.  I’m so terrified of judgement – of saying, doing something that might inspire ire, or prompt people to think of me as a failure, that I don’t do anything at all.  I don’t finish my novels because I’ve convinced myself they aren’t worthy of an end.  I especially don’t share my words for fear that the reader may raise a brow and say, aloud, ‘You’ve spent all this time on what?’

This is silly.  I should write for the love of writing.  I should share in reverence a craft I’ve come to love.  So I’ll try to do that now.  Scary as it is, I hereby open up shop for bespoke, tailor made stories.  I’ll write with the intention to share.  I’m setting up my own business so I may put myself out there.  Get better by practice.  Learn to love my readership.  And, ultimately, to keep doing that thing I love most.  

Here goes trying, at least: